The Reductionists Read online

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  “But why doesn’t your regular employer just fire you because of all the missed time?”

  “They can’t. Government regulations. You’re doing your civic duty – just like jury duty – except unlike jury duty you get paid really well. For a part time job there’s nothing like it.”

  “Then why don’t you just quit your regular job?”

  “Keeping a steady regular job is required of us. It supports good mental health.”

  “Why do people call you guys government zombies?”

  “Just the people that don’t agree with the law. And it’s obvious, isn’t it? We show up in a big group and people flee in every direction. And we stroll after them cutting them down one after the other. Like the old monster movies.”

  “I guess the name makes sense.” Just having this conversation with my old friend made me nervous. “I’m not trying to be rude, Frank, but they must work you an awful amount of hours because you don’t look so good. Your eyes are all messed up.”

  “I had been having some trouble with bad dreams but I’m taking something for it now. It’ll be okay.”

  “Working for the government, I can’t believe I’m even considering it. I wouldn’t be considering it but I’ve got serious cash issues.”

  “You want this job or not, Jimmy?”

  “You really don’t have a problem with doing this? You can call them rebels or whatever else you want to but you know that those people that you’re killing are innocent.”

  “The people of this country had the chance to vote the law down when it was proposed and they didn’t. Citizens have a right to a planet that isn’t overcrowded. You know that in your heart, Jimmy. If we let the people of this country continue to produce like rabbits it’d just be hell for all of us.”

  “What if it was us though? What if Minneapolis was scheduled for population reduction?”

  “It’s not and we’re not going to be because we keep our numbers low.”

  “Are all cities eligible for the vote?”

  Not Washington DC. They’re the only city that’s actually exempt from the vote altogether for obvious reasons, all those politicians and lobbyists protecting their own asses.”

  “It shouldn’t be that way. It should apply equally.”

  “Why don’t you just run for office and see how far that will get you, Jimmy?”

  “I don’t get it. Why does the government even need us? Why don’t they just use the military to handle reducing the population?”

  “Controversy. They had so many soldiers go AWOL over Pop Reduc missions that they either had to stop using the military or start the draft back up. They need us. They used to have an organization called the National Guard that they were using that was like the same thing as the Citizen’s Force but it fell apart.”

  “I don’t know, Frank? I’m not a perfect person by any means but this might be too much for me.”

  “It’s a job. You make money. You need to separate your moral judgments from what’s practical and necessary. You seriously sound like one of those peaceniks right now. It’s like I’m just waiting for you to hand me one of those pamphlets any minute.” He sighed. “I’m really starting to regret that I brought you up to my supervisor for an interview, Jimmy. If you don’t take the interview somebody else will.”

  “I guess I’ll take it.”

  “Now you’re using your head for more than a place to set your hat.”

  “I’ve never killed anybody, Frank. Seriously, I’m just telling you because I don’t even know if I could do it.”

  “It’s not as hard as you’d think. I’ve killed plenty. Life goes on. You”ll still go to barbecues, and movies, and to the beach. Nothing much changes. Besides, you’ve already done it. You voted yes on the population reduction for Nashville, same as me. That’s killing.”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t have to pull the trigger, only the voting arm.”

  I took a deep breath.

  “You’ll find that it’s a lot easier than you think once you’re there. And you’ll find it twice as easy after you’ve received your first patriot’s check.”

  “How do we get to the jobs?”

  “The National Transport System. From any of the platforms it takes about half an hour to get anywhere in the country. As soon as the results of a population reduction vote are tallied, we’re notified and we head out to that city. We get armored and armed on the way and then BWN shows us land and go to work on live television. The network has remote cameras on our transports and even on some of our fellow reductionists. It’s an experience like you couldn’t possibly imagine. No adrenaline rush like it in the world, not even tripping clauster gas and that can land you a life sentence in prison if it doesn’t permanently steal your sanity – that is – unless you’re a reductionist. Then it’s a small fine that you really don’t even have to pay.”

  “Not seriously?”

  “This job has more perks than being an international ambassador.

  “Do you get some kind of commission for recruiting me?”

  Frank ignored my question but I found out later that he got an All Home Entertainment system complete with a realistic wood grain cabinet. Sold out and it wasn’t even for real maple.

  “You’re going to be glad you joined, Jimmy. You’ve got an opportunity here. You’ll see. Don’t fight the man. Be the man.”

  And that was how easy it was for Frank to talk me into applying for the Citizen Force – Population Reduction Unit, Pop Reduc as most called it. Frank was able to convince the boys at Pop Reduc to give me an interview by assuring them that my psych evaluation would come back with a green light, confirming that reducing the population wouldn’t cause me a mental breakdown like it did in many of the workers they trained, making them a complete waste of government funding. And sometimes it was worse than that. A mentally disturbed Pop Reduc worker often turned their government issue weapons on other members of their team, causing entire units to need replacement. Frank told them that I was the best friend that he described in his own psych test. The friend that spent afternoons shooting rat after rat after rat off of the pollution control trucks. It was good conditioning supposedly for this type of work. I got a call that my interview had been green lighted.